Was I internalising stereotypical hetero values and living by them in my heteronormative queer relationship? Yes, I believe I was. What can I say? The allure of a relationship that, if you squint, fits into age-old traditions of what love and family look like is strong. And raging against the institution of marriage and compulsory cis-het monogamy becomes lonely as you get older and everyone begins to fit into seemingly perfect, matchy couples. But while it turns out that playing at heterosexuality wasn’t for me, that doesn’t automatically mean that dating straight men isn’t, either. Ultimately, straight women are coming to similar conclusions to me, whether that’s Miley Cyrus releasing Flowers or a Shakira diss track. It feels like women who date men are realising that the institution of heterosexuality is making many people miserable and reassessing their own scepticisms about dating men.
