Allow yourself to grieve
As Morgan shares, it’s important to acknowledge that no matter how long the relationship lasted or how it ended, it’s OK to grieve. “You devoted an awful lot of time and energy to the ex, it’s OK to grieve. Even if ending it was your decision, it is important to grieve the ending of it,” she says.
“Once upon a time this was the ‘perfect’ relationship for you, until it wasn’t. Grieving the past, and what might have been in the future, is a healthy way to gain closure on the relationship and move on. You don’t want the ‘what if’s’ and ‘maybes’ to get in the way of you moving into your new life.”
Equally, though, it’s OK to talk about things you once did with your ex – places you visited, plans you made – as long as they’re not used as a barometer or comparison that your new flame feels they are being measured against.
Visualise the future
“Allow your mind to progress from being stuck in the past to thinking about what comes next,” MacLynn advises. Consider what you’re looking for in a new partner, both the personality traits and values but also the kind of relationship you want. What are your goals?
“This process should leave you feeling empowered,” she says.