With 2023 around the corner, many people are already planning their New Year’s resolutions. While it’s often a challenge for some to stay true to their goals throughout the new year, many midlife women are trying to commit to them through better dating habits.
Yes, for many mature ladies who hope to find a new partner, setting some good intentions and principles for themselves and sticking to them while dating is becoming more and more popular.
It’s not difficult to understand why: dating in our 50s can be challenging. We might be reemerging on the dating scene following a long break, perhaps after being divorced or widowed—only to find that the rules (and technology) of the game have changed.
The Top Dating Resolutions
Amongst the lists of must-haves, nice-to-haves, and non-negotiables, one of the most recurrent dating resolutions from women over 50 is “being clear about one’s intentions from the get-go”: this will prevent both them and the other person from getting hurt down the line.
“Settling for Less Than You Deserve” is also a very popular resolution amongst mature women. Many of us are, in fact, tired of putting up with behaviours that we know we don’t like such as rudeness, lateness, or smoking, especially after having worked so hard on self-esteem issues.
“There may be no such thing as the perfect partner, but an ideal partner can be found in someone who has developed themselves in certain ways that go beyond the surface“, explains Dr Lisa Firestone, the Director of Research and Education at The Glendon Association and co-author of Sex and Love in Intimate Relationships. “Many qualities – like maturity, openness, integrity and empathy- won’t be apparent to us when we first meet someone, but as we get to know the people we date, these are invaluable traits to both look for in them and to strive for in ourselves“.
That’s why giving different types of people a chance becomes crucial especially when one’s has been often dating the same kind of man (read: emotionally unavailable). In the end, what do we have to lose?
Living the new year by the phrase “don’t judge a book by its cover,” and being open-minded about who we’re willing to date can only help us to improve our chances to meet Mr Right. At worst, we can practice for our next date (with someone else).
Finally, whether this year we’ll be successful in love or not, we shouldn’t forget what love coaches often suggest: being in a relationship is fun, but so is being single. Even if our dating resolutions stem from wanting to find the right person, it doesn’t mean we’re failing if we’re still flying solo.
Be wise, age playfully!