We’ve been talking on an app for seven months


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I’ve been talking to this man on a dating app for seven months now. He’s talking like he’s getting serious – but we haven’t even met yet.

He talks about how he will feel the day we finally meet, but he says he’s not able to do that because of circumstances with his business. I really like him, but he’s very vague about what the circumstances are. He will not talk off the site because he says it is secure. How do I get him to open up about what’s going on that makes it impossible for him to talk off this site? When I have pressed him about it, saying there really is no reason to continue to communicate if he won’t talk off the site, he gets defensive and says he doesn’t want to lose me, and I give in.

Any advice?

– Circumstances

My advice is to lose him.

You should have met him by now. Like, dozens of times.

I’m sure there are weird circumstances that prevent some people from meeting up after a few messages on an app. They get sick, travel, have to spend time with family, etc. But if a person knows they aren’t available for the better part of a year – or capable of moving any conversation off the app – they shouldn’t be dating this way to begin with.

I assume you started this process to find romance – in person. That means this man is not a good match. Tell him it’s time to end the relationship and then block him. Don’t give him the chance to message his way back in with vague excuses. Grieve the good conversation and connection you lost, and then, when it feels right, get back on the app. Ask people to meet – virtually, at the very least – after a few messages.

I hope this goes without saying, but don’t give anybody any money. If this man squeezes in an ask for help with his business, block him immediately.

– Meredith

Readers? Any reason this is OK? How do you get over someone you’ve never met?

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