Opinion: A Dating Standard Should Be To Seek Out Someone Who Appreciates Their Partner Unconditionally | Stacy Ann


Photo byMarcos Moura/Unsplash

Many years ago, at the beginning of my relationship, I was going through some personal pain in my life and overreacted to something silly. Afterward, I felt embarrassed to have acted that way in front of my (now) husband. I wondered to myself, why would he want to be with me if I had these types of moments?

My partner reacted with kindness and understanding when I apologized the following day.

It took me years to realize that my husband’s love for me wasn’t conditional. He truly gets me for the person I am and loves me even though I have some quirks and faults.

If you are anything like me and need a little reminder sometimes, here are four signs that your partner loves you unconditionally.

They trust you completely.

I believe that trust should be assumed until broken. If you are cheating on your partner, they aren’t going to trust you anymore, or you’ll have to work to rebuild that trust.

I have been in relationships where my boyfriends would go through my phone and then congratulate me on not cheating.

Going through someone’s phone and finding no evidence of them cheating on you isn’t trusting them. Instead, you are violating their trust and showing that you don’t respect their boundaries.

If you are in a new relationship with someone who seems stable, secure, and happy, you can’t project previous trust issues onto them. It’s essential to keep an eye out for any red flags but you shouldn’t need proof of their loyalty.

2. They support your dreams and ambitions

This sounds simple, but I have been in many relationships when I felt like my dreams and ambitions were not supported.

Right before graduating from college, I was in a relationship with my first profound love. I overheard him say to another one of my friends while we were all out at a bar, “I don’t want her to go to graduate school; I want her to marry me.

He wanted different things than I did and often would do something to try to give me to give up on my dreams.

The right partner won’t do this at all. Instead, they will encourage you and do everything in their power to help you succeed at your dreams and ambitions.

They are transparent/honest with you

Many years ago, I was in a terrible place emotionally. My partner was supportive through everything, but when things got worse, he finally suggested therapy.

Therapy ended up changing my life. I found a fantastic therapist who helped me work through my childhood trauma and several emotionally abusive relationships.

On the other hand, when I was in a toxic relationship, my partner did everything he could to stop me from seeing a therapist and succeeded. Looking back, I realized it was because he most likely knew and feared that I would wake up to how he was treating me and leave.

When someone loves you unconditionally, they will encourage you to do everything you can to feel better.

They love you in the bad times.

I have been with my partner for over two years now. In that time, he has seen me in my darkest and experienced a side of me that no one else ever has.

At first, I feared that he would leave. I feared my actions would scare him away, and he wouldn’t want me anymore.

Yet even in the worst of times, he didn’t leave.

Recently we went through a very traumatic experience as a couple. During that experience, I realized that even though we were both uncertain of the future, my partner did not doubt that I would be part of his.

No relationship is perfect.

There will be ups and downs, and there will be people who aren’t right for us in the roller-coaster of dating and love.

However, when you find the right person and realize their love is not conditional, it makes the entire journey worth it.

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