The responses ranged from subtle things to look out for to personality types people should completely steer clear of.
Here are 26 less common red flags men want to caution others against:
1.
“Don’t trust a man who can joke about others but can’t take it.”
2.
“Any aversion to taking responsibility. The older I get, the more I find that the men I respect most aren’t the ones with great achievements to their names, but rather the ones who aren’t afraid to own their shit.”
3.
“When you have to cater to his needs/wants over your own with no compromise. It can be something [like] only watching shows that he wants, doing things only he wants to do, or ordering takeout that only he likes.”
4.
“If anything happens to him and he always shifts blame to someone else, something else, or the situation, that is a big red flag. Sooner or later, everything will be your fault.”
5.
“If their story, complaint, rant, or explanation sounds too one-sided (unable to take blame themselves), they are lacking empathy… red flag.”
6.
“You’ll be able to tell if a guy is nice by how he behaves. If a guy tells you he’s nice, ignore that. That’s meaningless.”
7.
“If he starts throwing tantrums over petty things, there is worse on the horizon. He’s not passionate; he’s unstable.”
8.
“If a guy is doing the minimum of what you want in a long-term relationship at the beginning, it’s going to be well below your standards after a few years. I would expect about half of what you see in the first year.”
9.
“When they don’t respect the word no, even in the most benign of circumstances.”
10.
“When someone is declaring multiple times they are not a certain way without prompt, they are actually that way.”
11.
“When he looks to you as his sole source of happiness and entertainment. This usually means that they lack the ability to manage their own emotions or have healthy coping mechanisms. In addition, if you are in it for the long-term, there will be times that you will get sick of each other, and a guy needs some hobbies that can take his attention away to give you space. This can be an open door for manipulation.”
12.
“If he says, ‘All my exes are crazy,’ and tells you stories about all of them where he’s always the victim. Run!”
13.
“When he says, ‘Don’t worry about working; I’ll take care of you.’ Does he mean it’s okay FOR NOW, or does he mean he low-key doesn’t want you to have the means to leave if/when things go bad? There is a huge difference between support and sabotage, but they come in a similar-looking package sometimes.”
14.
“Over-pleasers. They never seem to have their own opinion especially if it conflicts with yours. ‘Yes men’ are for corporations, not relationships.”
15.
“Love bombing. If you guys aren’t in high school or struck by puppy love, this is just a manipulation tactic. Just my opinion, but somebody who respects the person they’re dating isn’t going to tell you they love you and see a future with you in the first couple of weeks.”
16.
“He is not liked by basically any other guy, only women. Can’t tell you how many douchebags I’ve met that are suddenly charismatic as soon as a girl he wants to f*ck/her friends are around.”
17.
“Disregard for the safety of those around you. For example, my friend loves his car. Regularly goes 2/3x the speed limit for fun. He does this with his wife in the car and tried to do it with me in the car, too. My wife means everything to me. Why would I want to risk not only my life, but her life, too? And the potential lives of other road users. This isn’t just in driving, but is one [that’s easier] to spot. Keep an eye on what a man is willing to put at risk for the sake of either thrill or social credit.”
18.
“If he talks about ‘logic’ as his rationale for everything, even when he is clearly emotionally motivated. Self awareness is important, and admitting you are emotionally motivated and flawed is important to being a grownup. If he can’t admit he is emotionally motivated, and it can cause him to make mistakes, you might get along well at first, but he will never grow and mature. You will outpace him, and he will feel like an emotionally incompetent boy.”
19.
“Lots of gossip. If he talks about other people, he’ll talk about you.”
20.
“Any man who identifies as a ‘lone wolf’ should be avoided. They have been ostracized by everyone already. If the man doesn’t have dudes, then there is something very wrong.”
21.
“Blaming their childhood on treating you and others like rubbish.”
22.
“If he’s a selfish lover in bed, he’ll likely be a selfish partner in life.”
23.
“If what he loves about you is how you make him feel and/or the things you do for him rather than who you are, what you like, your goals, and shared interests.”
24.
“You want a kind man, not a nice man/guy. Nice is transactional. Kindness is given freely.”
25.
“Focusing a ton on you and your needs, but hardly paying attention to their own. Someone like this can come across as sweet, selfless, and caring, but they’re actually avoiding their own problems to focus on yours. You’re not a partner to them; you’re a distraction, and even they themselves may not realize it.”
26.
And finally, “If he believes relationships without arguments or screaming matches are doomed for lack of passion, he probably hasn’t learned to communicate in a healthy way.”
Are there any other red flags you would add? Share them in the comments!
