Karina Castro of Bakersfield admits to being “very picky” during her first experiences with online dating in 2018.
After earning a Bachelor of Arts degree at Cal State Bakersfield, she decided it was time to be in a relationship. Many of her friends were trying online dating services, which have become very popular over the past 10 years.
Castro found that the Bumble app was the best for her, though she also downloaded Tinder. With Bumble, she could make the first move, send the initial message to potentially set up a meeting.
“I felt more comfortable that I was able to make the first move,” Castro said of using Bumble. “I was able to be a little more picky about who I wanted to reach out to.”
Castro’s first date was apparently the best. She went out with Trent Lumpkin. They’ve been dating since July 2019 and in October 2021, Lumpkin asked Castro to be his wife and she said yes. They’ve been engaged since.
Both, of course, are grateful they used online dating to find their soulmates.
The Rushes, Paige and Matt of Bakersfield, also found each other online and will be celebrating another year of love on Valentine’s Day. Here are both couples’ stories, along with some advice.
Karina + Trent
After first chatting with Trent online, Karina said she still had some fear after he asked for her phone number. She deleted the Bumble app.
A few months passed before she decided to give Bumble another try and downloaded it again. She eventually reconnected with Trent and this time felt more comfortable.
After three weeks of talking on the phone and FaceTiming, they met in person.
Karina, a 25-year-old teacher at Berkshire Elementary, said she dropped her location to a friend just to be sure.
Trent, a 26-year-old material handler who went to school at Liberty High and Taft College, said he felt shy during his first date with Karina. It actually took him a few dates to feel at ease.
He did not have too much experience with online dating. He said he had one date from an online app before going out with Karina.
“When I first met her, I was just really shy,” Trent said. “I knew that I liked her already from speaking with her on the phone. I was just trying to get myself to talk and be more like myself. It took a while for me to be fully comfortable. I think it was a month before I was like myself.”
Trent said he was attracted to Karina from the start. Karina had studied abroad in Europe and Trent found that interesting.
Over the past four years, he has fallen in love with her.
“There’s just something about her,” he said.
Trent said he is usually shy in new settings so it had nothing to do with Karina.
He offered advice for those trying online dating.
“Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there,” Trent said. “Don’t be afraid to fail. You gotta put yourself out there and find out what you like and what you don’t about people. Don’t settle.
“I think especially today a lot of people want that quick connection or just want to be in a relationship. You have to take your time and build it up.”
Karina also offered some advice.
“Go at your own pace,” she said. “Make sure it’s someone you feel comfortable with. Don’t rush anything just because you want to be in a relationship. Make sure it feels right.”
Paige + Matt
Paige and Matt Rush started dating in December 2017, when Paige was Paige Brock and had just been crowned Miss Bakersfield.
Pretty good timing for Matt, who proposed to her a year later about a week after she gave back her crown and title as Miss Bakersfield (the winner holds the title for a year).
Matt Rush, a Los Angeles County firefighter, said he felt a strong and positive connection with Paige during their first date at Kan Pai restaurant. He had picked her up at her parents’ house.
After the first date, Matt went to work on convincing Paige this was going to be a great relationship. Paige said that at first she felt that Matt was simply too good to be true and she was unsure.
“We went on a couple of more dates and I knew he was too good to let slip away but I wasn’t super into him,” she said. “But one day he sent me an edible arrangement and I was like OK, I’m in love now. … He grew on me.”
Paige and Matt initially met on Tinder, but after about a year had passed they basically became social media friends, communicating mostly through Snapchat. Then, Paige said she once saw Matt while driving and he was in the back of a Hall Ambulance van. He had worked for Hall Ambulance before becoming a firefighter.
She messaged him after that, and the rest is history, she said.
“There’s a lot of skeptics out there,” Paige said of online dating. “Being a female, we’re kind of scared. We think: Is that person actually going to say who they are?
“I think every person wants to meet the old-fashioned way or bump into someone at the grocery store. Unfortunately that doesn’t happen as often these days. The way of the future is to meet on social media and on dating websites.”
Meeting online can take away some of the first-date nerves, she said, but overall dating can be difficult.
Paige, 30, and Matt, 32, now have a whole set of challenges with two children, Luke, who turns 4 in February, and Julianne, 2.
Matt, who is sometimes gone for three or four days out of the week, said he admires Paige, a hairstylist, for “holding down the fort.”
“We make it work,” he said. “It’s a lifestyle we’ve gotten used to.”
