A mother-of-two whose crippling addiction to alcohol nearly killed her has revealed why women ‘secretly’ love sober men.
Justine Whitchurch, 49, from the Gold Coast, quit alcohol nine years ago when she saw what it was doing to both her own life and that of her children.
At her worst, in the last six months before she quit, the 49-year-old’s drinking would see her consume at least three bottles of wine a day ‘with some vodka shots occasionally thrown in if she wanted to go ‘undetected’.
Since Justine gave up alcohol for good, she has made exercise and healthy living a priority – and she looks better in her 40s than she did in her 20s.
On Tuesday, Justine revealed why she thinks not drinking alcohol is a ‘super sexy quality’ in a man, as not only does it show a sense of control, but it also demonstrates ‘safety and security’.
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A mother-of-two whose crippling addiction to alcohol nearly killed her has revealed why women ‘secretly’ love sober men (Justine Whitchurch pictured)
‘I think [not drinking] is a super sexy quality,’ Justine told the Last Drinks podcast hosts Will Hitchins and Mitch Ford.
‘When you’re not drinking, you’re more in control. Your own ability to do things well is increased.’
Justine said from her own personal experience when she has dated men, when the ‘alcohol is dropped, the domestic abuse goes straight away’.
‘I personally love men with self-discipline and I think when you don’t drink that already shows a sign of discipline,’ she said.
‘It’s so difficult to be a person in today’s society and not drink. It’s sexy. It’s control. I like men that are a little bit different and who stand out from the crowd.’
Justine added that when she dated guys who ‘drank a lot’, she knew she couldn’t depend on them ‘to look after me if something happened’.
‘It’s safety. It’s security. Any version of a man in full control is attractive and one that has left his beer at the door is definitely that,’ she said.
Justine Whitchurch, 49, from the Gold Coast, quit alcohol nine years ago when she saw what it was doing to both her own life and that of her children (pictured then and now)
The reasons why women love sober men
1. More natural confidence: Alcohol provides a false sense of security and most definitely a warped version of ‘self assured’. Natural confidence is super sexy as it’s coming from a place of authenticity.
2. Easier on the eye: Clearer skin, brighter eyes and less hot red face flushing. Not to mention that when you drink less you are more inclined to pick up your fitness and work on your physique.
3. Better in the bedroom: Mentally in the game, more attentive, less sloppy and a much lesser chance of ‘mechanical’ problems breaking the mood.
4. Interesting conversation: A decent conversation can dwindle into a sh*tty, boring, repetitive mess with a few under the belt. Any degree of intellect is quickly diluted into the struggle to get the words out in an understandable English format.
5. Healthier: Less alcohol means more energy physically and a much better opportunity to have optimum mental health.
Source: Justine Whitchurch
Justine (pictured before and after) said all women ‘secretly’ love sober men because they have ‘more natural confidence’ and are in control, plus it gives a sense of security and safety
On Instagram, Justine elaborated on her points about sober men, explaining that they often have ‘more natural confidence’, are ‘easier on the eye’ and better in the bedroom.
‘Clearer skin, brighter eyes and less hot red face flushing. Not to mention that when you drink less you are more inclined to pick up your fitness and work on your physique,’ she said.
Finally, you’re far more likely to have an ‘interesting conversation’ with someone who is sober.
‘A decent conversation can dwindle into a sh*tty, boring, repetitive mess with a few under the belt,’ Justine said.
‘Any degree of intellect is quickly diluted into the struggle to get the words out in an understandable English format.’
How to manage your drinking over Christmas
1. You don’t have to attend EVERY function offered to you. Choose the ones where you know you will feel comfortable and say no to the rest. You don’t owe anyone an explanation either.
2. Nominate yourself as the designated driver. This always gives you a legitimate out when the champagne is being offered on tap.
3. Set yourself a limit on your intake and make a strong commitment to this and where necessary, fill your wine glass with something non alcoholic to fill the void. Although this is something I could never do, there is the odd person who can.
4. Exercise through the cravings. If you feel that your compulsion to drink during this time has increased, distract yourself with a healthier alternative.
5. Get plenty of sleep. Go to bed early where you can and allow your body to rest and recover.
Justine quit alcohol when she was 40 years old after she spent most of her thirties ‘medicated from alcohol 24/7’ (pictured now)
Justine quit alcohol when she was 40 years old after she spent most of her thirties ‘medicated from alcohol 24/7’.
‘The single turning point was my nine-year-old daughter looking at me with tears in her eyes and saying, “Mum I am scared you are not going to get better”,’ she said.
‘I dropped 14 kilos in six months, my liver reading was around 2500 (it should have been 42), my triglycerides were so high I was a major heart attack risk, my platelet count was so low I had bruises from head to toe and my hair was falling out.
‘It got to the point where my dad saw me for the first time in months and he said that if he had not known it was me he would not have recognised his own daughter.’
Doctors also told Justine that she had just months to live if she continued the way she was going.
Justine explained that when she first quit, it was the first few months that were the ‘hardest’.
‘The initial phase of recovery is a lot about self-protection,’ she explained.
‘You can’t expect to be exposed to social situations with a nil effect.
‘The single turning point was my nine-year-old daughter looking at me with tears in her eyes and saying, “Mum I am scared you are not going to get better”,’ Justine said (pictured before and now)
If you are looking to give up, the 49-year-old recommends that you try and distract yourself as often as possible.
‘Look to do things that will benefit your health, like exercise, good nutrition and sleep, as well as re-connecting with the things that you used to love,’ she said.
Once you have got over the initial first stage, the mum-of-two explained you still need to be careful with what you do and pick your social occasions wisely:
‘When you do start to socialise again, choose a time of the day that you know you are least likely to be enticed,’ she said.
‘For me, that was always breakfast or brunch. That time of the day, you are less likely to be faced with the opportunity to drink. And just remember, you don’t need to do a whole heap of explaining.’
For support for alcohol-related problems and addiction you can contact one of the many services available, speak to your GP, local health service or call a helpline. There are trained telephone counsellors available in every Australian state and territory.
Justine’s recovery story and the steps she took to get sober are detailed in her book, Sobriety delivered EVERYTHING alcohol Promised, is available on Amazon and her website.