Have you ever sat down on a quiet afternoon and looked at your girl and thought, “is she the one for me?” Sure, you think she’s amazing, but how do you know for certain she’s a keeper? Friend, you’d better read up on how to know if she’s the one.
Every couple is different. But some things will be the same across most good relationships. Some of the signs she’s the one are obvious while others might take a bit more thought and consideration.
So, if you’re going around in circles trying to figure out if she’s right for you, Zoosk is here to help! We’re here to tackle that age-old question, “Is she the one?” and help you to create a real, meaningful relationship.
How to Know if She’s the One: 17 Telltale Signs
To fully commit to a meaningful relationship in the long term, it’s important to figure out if the woman you’ve been dating is the one for you. There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to this, but there are some common signs to look out for that’ll help you to work it out. Below, we’ve put together a list of 17 of the top signs she’s the one.
1. You care. No, really. You care a lot
It might seem obvious, but the first thing to ask yourself is, “Do I care?” We don’t mean whether you care about the person you’re with, rather, you care about what she wants, what she has to say, and — most importantly — what she needs.
If you find yourself consistently addressing all these and trying to make sure that she has everything she wants and needs, it shows you care a lot. This is likely a sign she’s the one.
2. She’s kind and genuine
Never underestimate the significance of kindness in a relationship. It plays a crucial role in sustaining a long-lasting bond. Demonstrating kindness towards each other makes both partners feel cherished, appreciated, and respected.
It’s common for people to put on a front during the initial stages of a relationship, which might make them appear kind at first. However, if she consistently shows kindness towards you, it indicates that she genuinely cares and might be a good sign she’s the one.
3. You feel completely comfortable with her
Can you fully be yourself around her without feeling like you have to put on a front? Are you fine with her seeing you first thing in the morning or lounging around on a lazy Sunday? Are you truly able to be yourself — quirks, flaws, and weird behaviors included — around her without feeling judged?
If the answer to all the above questions is yes, then there’s a good chance she might just be the one.
4. You know so much about her
It’s easy to think you know a lot about her, but if someone asks you what her favorite color, flower, or comfort food is, would you know it? Would you know what she wants when she’s sick, down, or has had a long day?
You’re not going to be able to make everything better all the time, but you can help by making her feel safe and protected from the rest of the world when things are tough. Do you know how to do that? If not, is she really the one?
5. You’re attracted to her
How do you know she’s the one? Well, unsurprisingly, physical attraction tends to be a key component. Physical attraction isn’t the be-all and end-all though.
Figuring out whether the woman you’re dating is right for you can also come down to emotional attraction. Are you attracted to their personality, traits, and characteristics, as well as their physical appearance? If so, she’s probably a great fit!
6. You know how to really listen to her
Couples who go the distance are always great at listening to each other. This doesn’t just mean listening to what your partner is telling you she needs, but also reading between the lines.
If she tells you she’s tired, it might not necessarily mean she needs or wants to go to sleep. It could mean she wants you to massage her neck, shoulders, back, and feet so she can relax. If she’s telling you she’s tired, it might also mean she’s tired of doing all the stuff she has to do and wants to be taken care of.
If you’re able to read between the lines and really listen to what she’s saying, it’s a strong indication that you have a meaningful connection and a good sign she might be the one.
7. You’re okay with being wrong, even when you’re right
How much do you like being right? Okay, nobody likes being wrong, but how far are you willing to push things to prove you’re right? We’ve all been through it: She says one thing, you say another, and the argument spirals from there.
When this happens, you have to weigh the situation and decide if being right is more important than finding a resolution to the conflict. If you’re willing to let it slide because you feel it’s more important for you both to get along in the short term, she might be the one for you.
8. She’s willing to apologize
Similarly, this also needs to be reciprocated on her side. someone who’s not afraid to say sorry is often somebody ready for a long-term commitment. Being open to apologizing after getting something wrong shows she’s willing to reflect and take responsibility within the relationship.
9. She knows what you need and when you need it
You might be lucky. You might’ve found a woman who takes the time to look into what you need and how to look out for you. If she knows what you need when you’re upset, frustrated, or stressed out, hold onto her. She might very well be the one.
10. Her values match yours
Is she the one? You might find a big part of the answer to this question by looking at her values. Are you both chasing the same things in life? Do your lifestyle choices align when it comes to things like career ambitions, marriage plans, and a desire to have kids?
This isn’t to say you need to agree on absolutely everything. But if you’re aligned on the core values and the big things in life — and you regularly talk about these together — then it’s a good sign that you’re both ready to take the relationship on to the next level.
11. You’re best friends
Here’s how to tell if she’s the one: Are you best friends? Do you genuinely enjoy spending time together? Are things always better when she’s around? Is she the one person you want standing by you through all of life’s ups and downs? If so, it’s a telltale sign she might be the person for you.
12. You can trust her completely
A relationship built on trust is a great way to strengthen and deepen the connection between you and your partner. That means, if she truly is the one, she should consistently demonstrate trust and not display any signs of petty jealousy.
What’s more, she should recognize and respect your independence and allow you to make your own decisions. This is one of the most important signs when it comes to figuring out if she’s the one.
13. She cares what you think
What’s her attitude towards your opinion? Does she ask for your view and show she cares about what you think? The specific topic isn’t important, whether it’s an outfit choice or a political viewpoint. What’s important is that she values your opinion and always remains considerate of how you feel.
14. You have a good relationship with her friends and family
When it comes to knowing how to tell if she’s the one, think about your relationship with her friends and family. Have you met her family and friends yet? Do you get along well with them? If so, it’s going to make your relationship together a lot easier and it can be a good indication that she’s the woman for you.
15. Her crazy is worth it
Does she get upset over things that you think are small or trivial? Does she want you to get rid of your prized theater chairs in the man cave and get a couch instead?
We all have our quirks and potentially frustrating behaviors. But, if you’re willing to put up with hers, see past them, and acknowledge that she’s doing the same for you, guess what? She may be the one for you.
16. She makes you feel safe
When trying to answer the question, “Is she the one?” think about how she makes you feel. Being part of a healthy relationship usually makes both parties feel safe — physically and emotionally. If she takes the effort to always ensure you feel protected, such as supporting you during a tough situation, it’s a good sign she might be the one.
17. You feel it every time you look at her
We’ve covered a lot, but in the end, it’s simple. When it comes to figuring out if she’s the one, most old couples you ask – the ones that have been together fifty years – will give you a straightforward answer: “We just knew”.
Every relationship has its highs and lows. But if you can navigate these together while continuing to grow — as individuals and as a couple — you’ve got something special that has real potential.
Is She the One? Build a Meaningful Relationship Together
So there you have it. Is she the one? You can study the top relationship books to try to find the answer but, at the end of the day, when it just feels right it probably is.
If so, appreciate her. Tell her how much she means to you. And, if you’re anxious that she might not be on the same wavelength as you, don’t be afraid to have an honest conversation with her. This is the best way to make sure your relationship is meaningful and long-lasting!