If you want attention on online dating apps, drop the 5-letter ‘hey’ | Tracey Folly


Never have I ever… used an online dating site. It’s not that I’m opposed to online dating sites, I’ve just never found myself single and yearning to meet someone new on an app. That isn’t to say I’ve never met a man online; I have. It just happened more organically. Maybe I’ve been lucky.

So while I won’t tell you I’m an expert in online dating; I’m not. I will say I’ve learned a lot from stories my friends have shared with me. I’ve definitely learned a few things vicariously through them. And who hasn’t seen horror stories on sites such as Reddit?

Dating sites can be a great way to meet someone new, but if you’re not getting noticed, it’s hard to find love. Let’s take a look at some tips on how to stand out from the crowd:

You have to have a good photo, an alluring profile, and a flirty but not dirty message that stands out from the rest.

The photos you use on your dating profile are the first thing people will notice and they’re also the most important. Your photo is what makes people want to find out more about you and connect with you.

  • Make sure your photos are recent.
  • Have a variety of photos, but don’t have too many.
  • Don’t use any photos that are too revealing or make you look like an idiot.

If you want the profile to get noticed, your best bet is to make it as complete and specific as possible. This means that you should:

  • Include a photo of yourself ideally one of your face or at least a full-length photo of your body. You may be surprised by how many people don’t bother with a photo at all.
  • Describe yourself in detail, including what you do for work, what kind of music and films you like, any hobbies that are important to you, and so on. Be honest about everything—the more information there is in your profile, the more likely it is that potential dates will find something they can relate to or identify with.
  • State what kind of relationship(s) (casual dating vs. serious relationship) and level of commitment (short-term vs. long-term) interests you most right now. If this changes over time then update it accordingly.

Of course, every profile has its strengths and weaknesses but if yours doesn’t stand out then try making some improvements before giving up entirely.

When you’re ready to send a message, it’s important to keep in mind the cardinal rules of online dating: be original and creative, be authentic, and be fun and flirty. You don’t have to write an epic love poem. Just express yourself in a way that is unique from everyone else’s messages.

When it comes to being original and creative, think about how your potential matches might respond to a message like, “Heyyyyy.”

Try something more memorable like “[Insert name], I think we would get along well because…” or “I had hoped I could meet someone like you on here.” These are just examples of ways you can show off your personality without coming off as overly aggressive or creepy.

Don’t forget that this is still just an introductory message so try not to fill up every second of their time with paragraphs upon paragraphs of text; keep it short and sweet, even though many people will probably read past the first sentence or two anyway before deciding whether or not they want more information about who sent them those messages in their inboxes.

What advice would you give to someone who’s trying to improve their online dating game? Comments are welcome.

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