Love is a many-splendored thing, especially when you’re gawking at it from the outside. In this column, we’ll be examining the celebrity couples that give us hope for our own romantic futures and trying to learn what we can from their well-documented bonds.
When I first saw a blurry paparazzi image of model and author Emily Ratajkowski and comedian Eric André exiting a restaurant together, I didn’t dare to believe in my own good fortune. Was one of my all-time favorite comedians actually dating one of the most beautiful women in known existence?
There are so, so, so few male comedians I root for, but André has been one ever since his Adult Swim days. I still choke with laughter thinking about his Margaret Thatcher riff. Obviously, the affection of a certified hottie who can write shouldn’t be a prize for being good at comedy, but what can I say? I want the best for the man. I want the best for EmRata, too, not least because I used to regularly—okay, twice—see her around town in L.A. when I lived there in 2017 and can vouch that she’s extremely polite when you accidentally step on her foot in line for the bar at Little Joy. (I lived a fascinating and glamorous life, okay?)
Wildly enough, André and Ratajkowski were spotted “canoodling” on vacation in Grand Cayman last week by Page Six, which wrote in its inimitable style: “Our images indicate they spent more time admiring each other than the crystal-clear water.” As they should! Truly, though, dating a comedian is a rite of passage, one that Ratajkowski already got out of the way in her Pete Davidson era, but dating an actually funny comedian is an achievement that’s worth celebrating with a sun-soaked getaway. (Come at me, Pete stans! I’ll say it! I like Pete, but he’s hotter than he is funny!)
This might be parasocial of me (okay, it definitely is), but I am attempting to send André “DON’T FUCK AROUND WITH THIS WOMAN” messages with my mind. EmRata, after all, is a relatively newly divorced single mom, and while I trust André far more than many other comedians of his ilk, I ultimately just want Emily to be happy, okay? Then again, André is the living personification of the “she let me hit ’cause I’m goofy” meme, so maybe I need to learn to trust famous men (ugh); doesn’t he just seem like he’d be an excellent boyfriend to Ratajkowski? One who would make hilarious fun of the fashion world without undermining her, and who would excel at the crucial gig of celebrity-BF purse-holding while she swanned down various red carpets?