Sean “Diddy” Combs is slowly but surely getting his feet back into the dating pool and he’s ready to find real love again.
In the women-driven dating and social networking app Bumble’s new YouTube series, Luv2SeeIt hosted by Teyana Taylor, the entertainment mogul sits down in between recording sessions to talk candidly about his romantic life after the death of Kim Porter.
“[We learn more from] losing love,” the 52-year-old says during the Q&A. “It’s the only way you kinda know how important it is. All the heartache that anybody’s ever been through. That’s the thing that really makes you appreciate the times you actually felt that and actually received that love. When you lose that unconditional love is when you put some respect on love’s name.”
Diddy began dating Porter in 1994. They welcomed their first child together, son Christian, now 24, in 1998, only to break up a year later. But they reconciled in 2003 and welcomed twin daughters, D’Lila and Jessie, now 15, in December 2006.
Although they called it quits again a year later, they remained close until the model’s untimely death from lobar pneumonia in 2018 at age 47.
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The rapper goes deep in his interview with host Taylor, sharing that he finally had the heart to go through old conversations with his former girlfriend and just how much his heart still hurts from her loss.
“Just the other day, I just had got the courage to look at [Kim’s] old texts,” Diddy says. “I shouldn’t have really did that. I was like, ‘Yo, I hope I can find somebody who can love me like that again.’ I’m not giving up on love, but it’s hard. A different level of heartbreak. Whenever I see the sun, I see God and I see Kim”
Taylor, 31, also asks the Bad Boy Entertainment CEO if he can even think about starting to find love again, and although he’s struggling, he admits he’s trying.
“I haven’t reached that place yet, but I haven’t given up, though,” Diddy says. “I haven’t given up. I know that Kim would want somebody to love me. Right now, I’m not on that time. It definitely puts up a lot of barriers for you because it hurts so much. The thing is, is to not give up on it and know when you’re ready because I’ve got to love myself. I’m not going to rush into something and it be a rebound situation and I’m trying to stop the pain. I’m open to it. I want to get my soul snatched. That’s what it’s going to take. Just a genuinely — love is really real.”
He adds, “I’m ready for some action and adventure. I’m ready to get swept off my feet.”
When it comes to defining love, the Sean John creator says it’s not that simple to describe.
“For me, love is really caring deeply, but unconditionally,” Diddy says. “Love is forgiving. Love is peace. I think nobody has hit the one true definition of it because it’s one of those things that can’t be put in a box. Love is like some godly thing.”
The father of six admits that in the beginning, he didn’t handle dating after Porter’s death in the best way.
“I did a bunch of rebound stuff and was definitely vulnerable,” the Ciroc Vodka owner adds, noting he had to go through that but is in a good place now. “My heart just wanted somebody to love me.”
Although he confirmed he’d been seeing City Girls rapper Yung Miami and has also been linked to the likes of models Lori Harvey and Gina Huynh, Diddy ends the 10-plus-minute series by pouring himself a shot of his own DeLeon tequila and toasting to love.
“I’m not qualified to speak on love,” Diddy tells Taylor with a smile. “I’m trying to figure this s— out myself. I am a Scorpio. I’m way nicer than maybe I come off to be. I’m lovable, godly, cute, can party, [and] can hang.”
Diddy’s episode of the bi-weekly series which aims to amplify and diversify the narrative of the Black dating experience to one that encompasses those of various genders, skin tones, and sexualities, is out today on Bumble’s YouTube channel.