A Relationship Expert Explains Why We Are Moving Away From Hook Up Culture


With couples moving towards love marriages and setting foot outside the confines of a familial arrangement, the introduction of casual dating shoved us into a phase we were unprepared for. Things rearranged around us, and before we knew it, young Indian singles had entered the so-called ‘hook-up era’.

We asked Ruchita Sud, relationship expert at Aisle, a dating app that lets like-minded individuals looking for serious relationships connect and explore their options, why we are more open towards serious relationships rather than casual hook-ups.

Ruchita says, “While hook-up culture did change things for Indian singles, it has also taught them to value true connections. Singles are now more open, honest & unabashed about making their priorities clear. They are learning the value of slowing down, setting intentions and taking their time with romance and love. Here’s how things are changing–”

5 reasons why we are moving away from hook-up culture

1 • Feelings over flings

Valuing feelings over flings is one of the reasons we are moving away from hook-up culture© Pexels

The pandemic has been a catalyst in changing the modern dating scene, particularly for Gen Z. Loneliness–coupled with a few years of uncertainty–had led to a sense of ‘collective fatigue’ that developed across the Indian dating landscape.

However, it has also taught us to be more honest about our feelings and intentions. As a result, many are prioritising finding a companion to share their lives with rather than just a short-term fling.

2.• Family acceptance

Family acceptance is one of the reasons we are moving away from hook-up culture© Pexels

In reality, although most of us have moved away from arduous traditional regulations and societal barriers, love for us Indians has always been intertwined with family and community.

For desi singles globally, family approval is a preferred factor in finding a match, and they play an essential role in shaping the way we love and marry. Singles have become more intentional about dating, keeping their long-term goals in mind while looking for a partner.

3.• Emotions over attraction

Valuing emotions over attraction is one of the reasons we are moving away from hook-up culture© Pexels

Finding a match, true love or long-term partner means a lot more than just a face-value attraction. Today, urban singles search for partners with similar mindsets and professional backgrounds.

The right person for most singles is someone they can share and build a deeper, long-term connection with.

4.• No time for mind games

Avoiding mind games is one of the reasons we are moving away from hook-up culture© Pexels

Let’s admit it, hooking up makes you miserable! It fuels some complicated and uncomfortable feelings, such as disappointment, confusion, embarrassment, guilt and low self-esteem.

Young singles are now prioritising themselves. They are choosing their mental health and well-being over dating yo-yos.

5• Swipe-dating fatigue

Swipe-dating fatigue is one of the reasons we are moving away from hook-up culture© Pexels

People exit online dating far more bitterly, angry and disappointed than before due to users’ frequent dating dilemmas as they swipe and scroll. Hook-up culture gave rise to dating trends such as ghosting, unsolicited pictures, and misleading profiles.

As a result, most people are fatigued by swiping left/right on dating apps and aren’t looking for a ‘What’s up’ text at 2 am anymore.

Without a doubt, finding a partner has always been and will always be a crucial task. However, setting intentions is far more important now than before, and sooner or later, this perspective will change the dating landscape once again. In due time, we may no longer stand for this commercialisation of love and gamification of dating.

Social and lead images credit: Dharma Productions and Excel Entertainment

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