Chivalry has evolved, as it should. It isn’t reasonable to expect to read articles telling us to lay our jackets across a puddle so our date may walk across it, but it is reasonable to understand that common courtesy and respect never go out of style.
The mission of the new chivalry movement is to bring together men and women who strive to be the best versions of themselves, and love and respect those around them.
As the old-fashioned notion of the term “gentleman” has evolved, so have the respectful acts that define him.
Here are eight signs you’re in love with a true, chivalrous gentleman:
1. He opens doors for you
This is one of the staples of chivalrous respect and probably the easiest to perform, as we all walk through doors every day.
The same goes for car doors. A woman will appreciate you getting out of the car to open the door for her, or walking around to her side first when you’re picking her up.
2. He calls you instead of texting
Just the fact that you would take the time to actually call a woman to ask her out on a date will put you light years ahead of your competition.
Plus, you’ll be able to tell how excited or enthusiastic she is about accepting your offer by actually hearing her voice.
3. He walks on the street side of the sidewalk
The purpose of this lost art is to show your willingness to be splashed should a passing car run through a puddle.
Furthermore, in some countries, people would throw trash out of windows, and the person walking closer to the building was less likely to be hit.
It’s an effortless way to show her that you care.
4. He walks you to your door
At the end of your date, especially early on in the relationship, walk her safely to her door.
This is especially important if she lives in a city.
It shows you’re willing to put effort into protecting her and making her feel safe — two important aspects of building her trust and comfort.
5. He sends good morning texts
A good morning text first thing doesn’t just say, “Good morning” — it says, “You’re the first person I thought of when I woke up today.”
Small romantic acts aren’t just for the “Honeymoon Phase” of your relationship.
Consistency is key. Hint: This includes goodnight texts, too.
6. He understands the etiquette of leadership
Proper etiquette dictates that in certain situations — such as being seated by a host or hostess at restaurants, theaters, or places like those — the woman is to lead.
In more crowded places that may require a push or two to get through, the man is to lead the woman. Bonus points for reaching back and holding her hand behind you to keep her close.
Furthermore, she is to lead the way when walking upstairs, and he is to lead going downstairs. These may seem like small details, but in a world where etiquette is often brushed aside, those who pay attention to the details are those who stand out from the crowd.
7. He puts his hand on the small of your back when introducing you to someone
This is something I read a long time ago and it stuck with me.
This is a small sign of affection and isn’t inappropriate in a public setting — as long as you agree that it’s OK to do —but it bonds the two of you together and helps her feel more comfortable.
The potential hazard of casual, light physical contact is that it might be seen as a gesture to others of “ownership,” as if the man is staking his “claim” on you by touching you. That’s why the gesture must be agreed upon by both.
8. He takes the time to plan a date
One of the most common complaints I hear from women is that men expect a casual text invitation to “hang out” to pass as a date and to send the same message. It most definitely does not. The effort you put into planning a date sends a woman the message of how much you are (or aren’t) truly interested in her.
In the age of technology, you’re likely texting or chatting for a while before you actually see each other. Use this time to discover some of her interests and plan something accordingly. In an age of apathy, your efforts will be well-received.
While many of today’s men have lost sight of these simple acts, or perhaps never learned them in the first place, the gentleman who holds himself to higher standards will always work to keep them alive.
James Michael Sama is an award-winning Boston-based blogger who writes about dating and relationships. He speaks on the topics of chivalry, romance, and happiness, and has been featured repeatedly in news segments, talk shows, and mainstream radio.
This article was originally published at James M. Sama. Reprinted with permission from the author.
