By Julie Spira
So you’ve been dating one special person for a few months now, but haven’t had the courage to have “the talk” about exclusivity.
While some people make their intentions known and agree to become exclusive at a certain point, others go with the flow with the hope that they’ll become his or her one and only, even before becoming Facebook official.
While the best way to know whether he wants to be exclusive with you is to ask him directly, there are some signs you can look for to give you a pretty good idea of where things stand with you and the guy in question.
17 signs he wants to date you exclusively
1. You’ve met each other’s friends and family.
When someone is really into you and has made you their steady squeeze, they won’t hide you. They will be proud to show you off.
If your plans regularly include socializing with their friends and co-workers, it’s a terrific sign that you’re exclusive.
2. When making plans, he says “we” instead of “I.”
When couples start to talk about vacations, holiday plans, or even booking theatre tickets months out and he says, “We should go to this,” then you’ll know you’re more than just a plus one for an office party.
3. You aren’t “just friends” anymore.
Women generally love labels. Men … don’t, quite as much.
If he or she shudders at the thought of labels and won’t define the two of you as “girlfriend” and “boyfriend” (respectively), it may seem like a red flag that your relationship just hasn’t become exclusive yet and they might be keeping other options open.
However, play close attention to how your significant other stops introducing you to his inner circle!
When he doesn’t refer to you as “just a friend,” and instead says, “This is [insert your name],” that’s more significant than you might think. He wants his friends and family to know who you are and remember your name because he plans on having you in his life for a good amount of time.
And if he starts referring to you as his girlfriend? You can rest assured, hands-down, you are his one-and-only.
4. You’ve both deactivated your dating profiles.
Why bother looking for someone else when you’re clearly off the market after you’ve won the prize?
I call this “digital housekeeping.”
If someone wants to make the relationship exclusive, they won’t be logging on while you’re asleep to swipe left or right, or stare at profiles and photos of others.
5. You have a steady date for the weekends.
When both of you know that you’ll be spending weekends together, or at least on Friday and Saturday nights, you’re probably exclusive.
When someone wants to date others, they’ll leave one of their weekend nights available.
When you’re excited about being together every weekend, you should take this as a clear sign that he wants to be exclusive.
6. He brags about you to his female friends.
It’s one thing for him to tell the guys about his hot date or GF.
But when he tells his closest female friends all about you, he’s garnering their vote of approval and wants them to share in his joy over having you in his life.
7. You spend most nights curled up in each other’s arms.
When you’re in an exclusive relationship, just being together to cuddle or spoon while watching television all night shows how comfortable he is with having you in his life as much more than a fling.
He’s trying you on for girlfriend material — or, better yet, he already thinks of you as his girlfriend, and just hasn’t told you yet.
8. You talk about the future — and what you’ll be doing together later in life.
When he doesn’t look at you as someone in his life only temporarily, he’ll let you know.
If his plans include possibly living together, or even marriage, he’ll want to make sure you know that you’ll be together for events and holidays months down the line. (And that you’re the only woman he sees taking home to his family for years to come.)
That means you’re almost certainly exclusive — maybe he just needs a little prompting from you to say those special words because he’s too clueless to understand that you need to hear them to know exactly how he feels without any lingering doubts.
9. His social media feeds includes photos of the two of you.
While some people aren’t quick to change their relationship status until they’re engaged or married, if their Facebook page includes multiple photos of the two of you embraced as a couple, it sends a message to friends and others that they are taken and proud of it.
Better yet, if it’s his profile picture, it’s almost better than a relationship status change, because it’s the first thing everyone sees anyway.
10. You’ve whispered those three special words to each other.
Most people don’t say “I love you” until they really mean it.
Sure some people easily say “I love you” for sex, but if you’re together five or more nights a week, talk and text every day, and they profess their love for you, chances are they mean it.
11. He feels guilty if he hears from an ex.
When he hears from an ex and he seems cagey and uncomfortable, he’ll probably realize he’s not open to any possibilities or situationships with them — or anyone else, for that matter — because he doesn’t want to lose what he has with you.
Eventually, rather than being sneaky about it, your guy will feel like the right and fair thing to do is to tell you about it, rather than walking off into another room to hide while he responds to his ex’s text.
12. PDA is in the ‘on’ position.
If the two of you hold hands in public, even in front of business associates and family, signs of affection will show the world you’re taken.
13. He spends his birthday and Valentine’s Day with you — because he wants to.
If he’s playing the field, all the ladies will know it’s his birthday and will want to make romantic plans to be by his side.
But If he’s making plans with you for his birthday, it means the only person in the world he wants to spend time with on his special day is you. That says a lot, so don’t underestimate how much that says about how he feels about you!
And if he makes plans for you on Valentine’s Day, which he knows is an important date for women — and he definitely doesn’t want you to spend it with any other guy, you’ll know there isn’t anyone else in his heart but you.
14. He’s there for you when you’re sick.
Not every day is filled with hearts, bells, and whistles.
If you’re under the weather and this person at your side with chicken soup, flowers, and would rather nurse you back to health than hang out with their friends, it’s their way of saying that they think you’re a keeper.
Consider how often a guy wants to cancel his other plans, like trivia night at the pub with his guys, or football night, or pretty much anything else that doesn’t involve putting your snot-covered tissues in the trash, making you tea, getting you another blanket, going out to buy you more NyQuil … you get the idea.
This one loves you at your best, and, well, your not-so-best.
15. You each have a drawer at the other’s place.
When your sweetie carves out a place in his closet or bathroom for you, for all your overnight things like a toothbrush, an extra set of panties, and makeup, and you’ve done the same for him at your place, you’ll know it’s serious.
There’s no way he’d want another love interest noticing your presence in his home.
16. He lets his ex know he’s in a serious relationship.
While some people make clean breaks with their ex, others still stay in contact. When he’s ready to let go of her and move on to a meaningful relationship with you, he’ll let his ex know he has a girlfriend so that respectable boundaries can be set.
This conversation sends the message that the past will stay in the past because he’s moved on. He found something better — you!
17. He gives you a key to his home.
When you exchange keys with enthusiasm, he’s letting you know that you now have the key to his heart.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and digital matchmaker.
