Do not divulge too many personal details in the initial phase. Avoid money talk, advises Ravi Mittal, CEO, Quack Quack, an online dating app.
Kindly note the image — a scene from Flames that streams on Amazon Prime Video — has been posted only for representational purposes.
In dating, there is no playbook to follow.
You have to wing it as you go. This means, you will make mistakes.
Mistakes are how you learn, but some are graver than others, and you’d be better off without having committed them.
Here is a list of blunders you want to avoid or rectify before stepping in 2023.
Mistake #1. Altering your personality
We get it; you like someone and want them to like you back. And you would do anything to impress the person.
More than 47 per cent of female daters shared their story of how they altered even the way they spoke or played dumb to tickle the male ego, only to impress their dates.
If you change your personality for their benefit, your date is not going to fall for you; they will fall for the person you are pretending to be, and that’s not something that will last.
Be a better version of yourself, but be yourself.
Do not pretend to like the music your date likes or agree to their opinion of something, even if you think otherwise.
Be your authentic self, and you will find yourself attracting the right people for you.
Mistake #2. Too many expectations
Six out of 10 people are likely to have heard their friends or family members tell them ‘you have too many demands’.
It sounds all wrong, but they were not wrong.
It is human to expect certain things from your potential partner.
It is time you realise that every person you date will not end up being your spouse down the line.
The only expectation you should allow yourself is to have a good time with the person.
Mistake #3. Not exploring enough
At least three out of seven people start dating the first person who shows interest, and a majority of these relationships end in a break-up.
This New Year, learn not to settle for the first person who smiles at you.
Avoiding this mistake will help from wasting your time with the wrong people and save you many heartbreaks.
Mistake #4. Ignoring red flags
Falling in love is beautiful; it makes you look at the world through rose-tinted glasses. But there’s a catch.
The rose tint does not let you see the red flags. Everything looks green and desirable.
Do not ignore the red flags. Do not let the desperation to find the perfect partner cloud your judgment.
If you see any signs of aggression, possessiveness, obsession, speaking in crude language about the ex, habit of lying, and any such negative traits, think it through.
It is better to wait a little longer than make an error in judgment and suffer.
Mistake #5. Trust; but not blindly
Trust is the most important, whether it is in a relationship or in the dating phase.
But trust takes time to build. Until then, double-check everything.
You might be honest, but that does not guarantee that everyone you meet is being honest with you.
People lie, and even worse, people take advantage of other people’s honesty.
Do not divulge too many personal details in the initial phase. Avoid money talks.
Use your judgment to corroborate their stories with their actions.
Do not blindly believe your date when they say you are the only person they are seeing.
Ask questions to get to know them better. For instance, childhood memories, family equations, and other such personal questions give you a better understanding of the person you are dating.
Additionally, these are personal but not intrusive.
Mistake #6. Old baggage
You can’t date a new person when you are still haunted by your past.
It is one of the most common and most frequently made dating mistakes.
People move on before they are ready to; you try to bury your pain.
This 2023, let your heart time to heal from the traumas of your past relationship before you jump into someone else’s arms.
Do not bring the baggage of your past to your present.
Stop comparing new potential partners with your ex; for better or for worse.
Just because your new date is different from your toxic ex does not mean they are the one. Most importantly, love yourself before you love another person.
Mistake #7. Negativity
The best of us have fallen prey to negativity.
We doubt ourselves; we think we are not pretty enough or not tall or handsome enough to be liked by another person.
At least 33 per cent people of dating age have body image issues.
You cannot make space for a happy and positive relationship in your life if your mind is full of negative thoughts about yourself.
Don’t let invalid pessimistic notions about yourself bring down your confidence level. It makes you settle for less than what you deserve. Kickstart 2023 by loving yourself.
Mistake #8. Stop trying to change them
Two out of five people think they can change their partner, but most of these relationships end with regular conflicts.
Save for some exceptions, people can’t change people, not with love, at least.
If you find the person you are dating is getting triggered by some things more than they should, point it out to them.
Ask them to work on it while you move on to someone kinder to you. It might even seem selfish at the moment, but that’s the best thing you can do for the both of you.
Mistake #9. Boundaries
Forty three per cent of people say setting boundaries during the initial stages of dating is the best way to avoid misunderstandings, and it ensures you are on the same page.
Boundaries mean you respect each other’s personal space and individuality.
Do not be afraid to set boundaries.
If you don’t want your partner to show up in your office, and it has nothing to do with covering your infidelity, please let your partner know. Holding back will do you no good.
Mistake #10. Don’t be needy
Neediness is not a good look on anyone.
People consciously maintain certain things while dating to not come off as too clingy or needy:
- Don’t be the first one to text; not always.
- Don’t stalk their social media.
- Don’t be the one making all the adjustments.
- You shouldn’t be the only one expressing your feelings.
Among our 21 million users, we see almost 24 million chats per month. We see more than 13 per cent of these people sharing their past mistakes with their matches.
You will make mistakes; there’s no stopping that. But whether or not you learn from it is the real question.